1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,004
So, Lisa Apple
had a baby?

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,757
With Dad?
Correct.

3
00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,675
I'm sure this is
a little surreal.

4
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,677
But once
the shock wears off,

5
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,597
you'll have this brand-new
baby sister to enjoy.

6
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:16,850
♪♪

7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,311
O-Okay. How is
he not in trouble?

8
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,605
I would think he would be
in serious trouble.

9
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,690
Why would he
be in trouble?

10
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,525
We were not together
when this happened.

11
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:27,027
So, does that mean
that he put

12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,570
his "P" in her "V"?

13
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,113
Milo!
It's okay. It's okay.

14
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,032
I got this.

15
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,200
Yep.
Lena: Martin.

16
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,660
But keep in mind,

17
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,744
that is something
that I do

18
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,287
pretty regularly
to your mom.

19
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,414
[ Quietly ] With.
You do it with their mom.

20
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,750
Any chance I get.

21
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,001
That's true.

22
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,545
No further questions.

23
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,049
No further pancakes.
Uh, gotta motor.

24
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,801
Gonna be late tonight.
College fair.

25
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,844
College fair?
Seriously?

26
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,972
Should I come?
Up to you.

27
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,765
So you do
want me there?

28
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,767
No presh,
I just have to plan my day.

29
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,894
♪♪

30
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:04,314
♪ Keep giving me hope
for a better day ♪

31
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,526
♪ Keep giving me love
to find a way ♪

32
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:10,862
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel ♪

33
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:17,119
♪ I just need someone to say
everything's okay ♪

34
00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:18,870
♪ Everything's okay ♪

35
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,872
[ Water running ]

36
00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,874
I don't get it.
They didn't ask to meet her.

37
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,459
They didn't
even ask her name.

38
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,420
How did I not know about
Mae's college fair?

39
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,879
Hey, um...

40
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,715
Lisa didn't say
anything about me

41
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,883
being able to see Annie?
She'll get there.

42
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,844
She just
needs more time.

43
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,263
Right now, Lisa's just
really stressed out

44
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,597
about the financial stuff.

45
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,349
And if she can't
make it work,

46
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,351
she's gonna have to move back
to Idaho with her parents.

47
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,686
Yeah, well,
I don't know

48
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,396
how much longer
I can sit on the bench.

49
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,647
I mean,
I thought I could,

50
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,233
but every day that passes,
it's just...

51
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,028
gnawing at me.

52
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,989
There's this little thing that I
didn't even know that I had,

53
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,532
I didn't even know
that I wanted,

54
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,035
and she just
ripped it away.

55
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,162
I just wish
I could see her.

56
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,288
Let me talk to her.

57
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,623
Let me try.

58
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,292
I'll fix this.
I will.
Mm, okay.

59
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,711
I-I feel bad about asking,
but I didn't actually ask,

60
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,129
you offered,
so thank you.

61
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,672
That would be great.

62
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,966
Do I like being stuck
in the middle? I don't.

63
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,677
Am I keenly aware that
I put myself here?

64
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,845
I am.

65
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,805
But is there a way
for me now

66
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,767
to remove myself
from the equation?

67
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,644
Doubt it.

68
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,812
Sorry. Am I not
supposed to answer?

69
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,482
Am I just supposed
to sit here like...

70
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,650
[ Gasps in pain ]

71
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,901
Maya?

72
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,361
Oh, my God. Is this it?
Is it time?

73
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:35,113
[ Laughing ] That's what
he wants you to think.

74
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,656
[ Laughs ]

75
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,575
Because he's a con man!

76
00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,494
I've been
to the hospital

77
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,245
three times

78
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,498
only to be told
he ain't comin'.

79
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,834
Okay, you know eventually
he is coming.

80
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,879
[ Chuckles ]
If you say so.

81
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,547
Either way,
I'm not going back,

82
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,549
not till I have
a foot hanging out.

83
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,469
You know babies are born
head-first, right?

84
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,972
[ School bell rings ]

85
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,016
And Mom said Lisa might have to
move back to Idaho or Iowa

86
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,393
or wherever she's from

87
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,144
because she doesn't have
enough money to live.

88
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,146
Listen to you. You sound
like the coastal elite.

89
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,191
This is why they hate us.
Okay, are you even listening?

90
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,651
We need to crowdfund
Annie Apple.

91
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,528
No thanks.
To me,

92
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,029
babies are little
bags of barf,

93
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,989
disgusting
black belly buttons,

94
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:20,325
and don't get me started
on how irresponsible it is

95
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,618
to bring one
into this world.

96
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,538
I mean,
polar bears are dying,

97
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,165
and they're majestic.

98
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,127
I'm getting
my tubes tied.

99
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,503
O-kay.

100
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,089
♪♪

101
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,590
Hey.

102
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,050
Oh.

103
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,553
[ Gasps ]
Aww, how's it going?

104
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,221
Look at that big girl!

105
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,973
Cherish every moment.
Before you know it,

106
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,141
she's gonna be --
I need a favor.

107
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,894
I applied for this full-time
teaching position

108
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,688
before Annie was born,
and I never heard back.

109
00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:50,981
Well, they called,

110
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,607
and they want
to interview me today.

111
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,901
Can you watch her?
Oh, my gosh, Lisa!

112
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,279
A job interview?
Are you ready for that?

113
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,072
No choice, right?

114
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,450
"Baby needs
a new pair of shoes."

115
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,493
You know, when baby
starts walking.

116
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,912
Yeah, right.
Well, go get 'em!

117
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,831
And of course I'll watch her.
It'd be my pleasure.

118
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,082
Thanks.

119
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,959
Oh, here are
my house keys.

120
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,921
Hey, how would you
feel about me

121
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,798
watching the baby
at my house?

122
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,302
Your house?

123
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,138
I know the kids would love
to meet their half-sister.

124
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:26,892
And I'm sure Martin
would love to see Annie.

125
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:31,897
♪♪

126
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,440
Okay.
Yeah?

127
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,983
He can see her. Yeah.

128
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:39,321
♪♪

129
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,323
Bye, baby.

130
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,657
Love you forever.

131
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:45,160
♪♪

132
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,370
Hey, wait.
You're coming back, right?

133
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,498
Oh, my God, of course!
Obviously!

134
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,833
I just...

135
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,710
[ Voice breaking ]
I just cry all the time now.

136
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,379
Oh, it's okay. I remember.
I did that, too.

137
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,216
Okay.
Good luck.

138
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,759
[ Voice breaking ]
Thank you.
Okay.

139
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:07,307
♪♪

140
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,352
Hey. Can you come home
from work early?

141
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,354
We got Annie.

142
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:16,107
♪♪

143
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,280
[ Annie cooing ]
The thing is,

144
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,282
my hands have been
so full of Apples lately

145
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:28,203
that I haven't had much time
for anything else.

146
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,497
And it's not like we're not
gonna see each other.

147
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,459
[ Annie coos ]
'Cause I am down
with your dad.

148
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,213
I knew you'd understand.

149
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,589
I'll be right back.
[ Annie fusses ]

150
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:45,428
[ Door closes, Annie cooing ]

151
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:50,559
♪♪

152
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:55,689
♪♪

153
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,315
You're here.

154
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,402
Oh, my God,
she really did it.

155
00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:02,529
Can I pick you up?

156
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,906
Is that okay? Huh?

157
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,659
I guess I'm just
going to, so...

158
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,035
[ Softly ] Oh, come here.

159
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,123
Hi, little mama.

160
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,625
You probably
don't recognize me.

161
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,961
There was a lot
going on that day, but...

162
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,713
I'm your dad.

163
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,590
Yeah.

164
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,966
Nice work, Dad.

165
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,720
Oh.
I-I didn't wake her.

166
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,055
Um, she was up.
Is this -- Is this okay?

167
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,474
Am I allowed to hold her?
Of course you can.

168
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,935
I mean, I knew
she'd be cute, but...

169
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,021
I mean, this is
like another level.

170
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,772
Look at her. I mean,
would you look at her?

171
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,774
[ Laughs ]

172
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,276
Uh-huh.

173
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,570
You look
great together.
It feels great.

174
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,574
Hey, you think you can
watch her for about an hour?

175
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,908
W-What,
you mean -- you mean,

176
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,910
like, alone,
unsupervised?

177
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,662
Yeah.

178
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,873
Your older daughter
is all grown up these days --

179
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,792
but I want her to know
her mom's still here for her.

180
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:00,378
Okay. Um, what if
Lisa shows up?

181
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,422
What, should I just, like,
put Annie on the floor

182
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,715
and hide in the closet?

183
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,550
Probably.
Okay. [ Laughs ]

184
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,595
It sounds crazy, but I think
you should talk to her.

185
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,847
It's time for you to take
the reins, all right?

186
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,140
I'm tapping out.

187
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,851
[ Annie coos ]
Okay.

188
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,311
So...
[ Door closes ]

189
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,188
Hat girl, huh?

190
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,481
Yeah.

191
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,024
What else should I
know about you?

192
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,484
Nicki or Cardi?

193
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,944
Fallon or Kimmel?

194
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,614
And where are we
on the Bobs?

195
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,283
Dylan or Seger?

196
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,451
[ Smooches ]

197
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,578
♪♪

198
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,580
[ Indistinct conversations ]

199
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:40,293
♪♪

200
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,503
Boo.

201
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:43,755
Mom!
You actually came.

202
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,131
Of course I came.

203
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,634
I mean, you almost
kind of sort of said

204
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,719
you wanted me to, so...
[ Chuckles ]

205
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,262
Yeah, what are
your top-five choices?

206
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,639
We'll go
to those booths first.

207
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,599
Okay. My first choice
is Barnard.

208
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,018
Barnard.

209
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,645
That's in Manhattan.

210
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,271
All the schools I want
to apply to are in New York.

211
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,982
Yeah, definitely want
to be on the East Coast.

212
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:05,235
But Barnard
is my top pick.

213
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:08,363
They have
an amazing writing program.

214
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:12,409
Wow.
New York.

215
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,411
Would you be
supportive of that?

216
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,995
Supportive?
Oh, my gosh, yes.

217
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,541
Yes. Super supportive.
Like, sports-bra level.

218
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,962
I just hope
you like roaches.

219
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,256
Roaches?
Yeah, cockroaches.

220
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,674
They're huge
in Manhattan.

221
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,175
I don't want
to deter you, but...

222
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,388
...they can live for, like,
a month without their heads.

223
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,267
It's just good
to be informed.

224
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,686
Mom.
Whatever happened
to UCLA?

225
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,937
You used to, like,
run around the house

226
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,647
in that UCLA sweatshirt.

227
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,607
Yeah, when I was 8.

228
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,443
Early decision,
I thought?

229
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,069
UCLA is
a fine school,

230
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,573
but I truly believe Mae,
the intellectual risk-taker,

231
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,241
would flourish
at Barnard.

232
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:56,327
She'd receive a high-quality
liberal arts education

233
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,956
right at the center of
cosmopolitan New York City.

234
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,000
[ Chuckles ] Oh, the museums,
the theater,

235
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,460
the piano bars.

236
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,378
Don't even get me started
on that skyline.

237
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,630
Okay, Cuomo. Thank you.
[ Laughs ]

238
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,883
Peekaboo!
[ Annie laughs ]

239
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,426
[ Gasps ] Peekaboo!

240
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,178
Where did I go?
Where did I go?

241
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,971
[ Annie crying ]
Oh, I'm right here.
I'm right here.

242
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,806
I didn't go anywhere.

243
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,641
[ Door opens ]
I love you.
I'm never gonna leave you.

244
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,851
[ Door closes ]

245
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,394
Oh, my gosh.
Is this Annie?

246
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,313
This is Annie
in the diaper.

247
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,815
My gosh, she's cute
as a button, Dad.

248
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:26,858
Literal button.

249
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,401
I've seen cuter.

250
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,694
In the mirror.

251
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,279
You want to hold her?
Duh.

252
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,822
Wash your hands.

253
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,912
All right. Let's get
right in the crook.

254
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,665
[ Softly ] Hi, Annie.
I'm your big bro.

255
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,501
I'm gonna
look out for you

256
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,169
and make sure you don't
end up in the sticks

257
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,629
or on the streets.

258
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,297
Or, God forbid,
on the pole.

259
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,673
No shame
in that work, but --

260
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:51,966
All right, gimme her,
gimme her.
Okay.

261
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,094
Great. Uh...

262
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,554
Buddy, why don't you
take a seat on the coach?

263
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:59,432
It's your turn.
There we go.

264
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,060
Open up your arms.
[ Gasps ]

265
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,188
What's that, Annie?

266
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,981
[ Chuckles ]
What'd she say to you, bud?

267
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,234
She wants to know
what it's like in the garbage.

268
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,402
Okay, homework time.
Homework.

269
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,530
Okay. Both of you guys.
Come on.

270
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,114
Out, out.

271
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,574
Okay.

272
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,660
That's okay, baby Apple.

273
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,037
One day, you're gonna
kick both of their asses.

274
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,081
Yes, you will.
Come here. Okay, let's go.

275
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,958
At Sarah Lawrence,

276
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,627
our students get more
one-on-one time with faculty

277
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,754
than at any other college
in the country.

278
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,131
Hm. Sounds like a lawsuit
waiting to happen.

279
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,092
Mom, what's wrong
with you?

280
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,969
I think it's just
a little bit of empty nest.

281
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,430
Which is peculiar, 'cause my dad
keeps repopulating it.

282
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,183
Can I talk to you
in the hall?
Can I talk to you in the hall?

283
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,436
Can I have one of these?
Thank you.
Of course.

284
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,815
Mae.

285
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,359
Is that why you want to run off
and go to school in New York,

286
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,320
because of your dad and Lisa
and the whole Annie Apple thing?

287
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,990
Believe it or not, New York
has a lot more going for it

288
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,159
other than just being the place
where you guys don't live.

289
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,495
What about that crack
about your dad?

290
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,623
What about your cracks?
Are you unraveling?

291
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,169
I just want to make sure
you're okay.

292
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,213
I'm okay.

293
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,215
Some might argue that
I'm more than okay.

294
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,176
♪♪

295
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,136
When did you
get so grown up?

296
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,804
It went by so fast.

297
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,514
This was fast for you?

298
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,224
For me,
it felt like forever.

299
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,351
I blinked
and I missed it.

300
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,103
Maybe I just miss you.

301
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:31,065
♪♪

302
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,568
You're still
the cutest one.

303
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,695
You're the smallest
and the cutest

304
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,697
and everyone
loves you best.

305
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,616
Hey, freaker.
Come here.

306
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:47,206
Okay. Now that I am officially
obsessed with our baby sister,

307
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,167
aka
the Apple of my Eye,

308
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:51,544
I've decided to make
a pledge-fund page

309
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,880
in order to kick-start
her life.

310
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,840
[ Laptop key clicks ]
♪ Sweet pea ♪

311
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,843
♪ Apple of my eye ♪

312
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,972
♪ Don't know when
and I don't know why ♪

313
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,058
♪ You're the only reason ♪

314
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,810
♪ I keep on coming home ♪

315
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,729
I cry almost every time
I watch it,

316
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,981
but it's raised
zero dollars

317
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,733
and has zero likes.

318
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,526
Why is it
not connecting?

319
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,528
Not sad enough.

320
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,530
I know them,
and I felt nothing.

321
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,698
Really?

322
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,784
Just saying.
I'm not handing over

323
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,411
my hard-earned pesos
to some rando...
[ Laptop closes ]

324
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,872
...who looks like she's
sponsored by The Honest Company

325
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,375
and her
basic bitch baby.

326
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,710
[ Bob Seger's
"Still The Same" plays ]

327
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,004
Martin: ♪ Every time ♪
[ Annie laughs ]

328
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:39,133
♪ They were sure
they had you caught ♪

329
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,095
♪ You were quicker
than they thought ♪

330
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,513
♪♪

331
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,933
♪ You'd just turn
your back and walk ♪

332
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,435
[ Door opens ]

333
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,521
♪ You always said ♪

334
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,357
♪ The cards would never
do you wrong ♪

335
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:57,694
♪♪

336
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,779
♪ The trick, you said ♪

337
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,615
♪ Was never play
the game too long ♪

338
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,994
♪♪

339
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,079
♪ A gambler's share ♪

340
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,623
♪ The only risk
that you would take ♪
[ Lisa clears throat ]

341
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,583
Lisa!

342
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,252
Bob Seger: ♪ The only loss
you could forsake ♪
Hi. Uh...

343
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,129
Hello, uh...

344
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,672
[ Music stops ]
In case
you were wondering,

345
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,466
she's a big Seger fan.
[ Annie crying ]

346
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,093
I checked.

347
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,386
Okay, shh, shh, shh.
Here.

348
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,181
It -- She doesn't hate me,
I swear.

349
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,475
She just -- This is
her witching hour.

350
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,060
She's colicky.
No, I know.

351
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,937
All three of my kids
were colicky, too.

352
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,147
Bad genes, I guess.

353
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,523
Huh.
[ Chuckles ]

354
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,942
But if she needs
those big, giant glasses,

355
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,986
that won't be my fault.
[ Laughs ]

356
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,738
Right, that's my defining
characteristic.

357
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:43,281
[ Crying continues ]

358
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,366
They're really big.
Yeah, I know!

359
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,077
Okay.
Hey, you know, uh,

360
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:49,996
when they're
fussing, um,

361
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,998
I used to always do
the -- the football hold.

362
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,207
D-Did Lena
show you that one?

363
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,668
[ Stammers ] No.

364
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,753
May I?

365
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,549
Come here.
[ Annie coughs ]

366
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,092
[ Softly ]
Hey, listen to me.

367
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,344
[ Annie crying ]

368
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,846
Here we go.
[ Annie screams ]

369
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,932
Okay.
Shh, shh. Mm-hmm.

370
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,142
[ Crying stops ]

371
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,477
So, how'd
the interview go?

372
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,939
Lena told me.

373
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:19,025
Uh...

374
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,401
It went...

375
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,821
[ Voice breaking ]
Uh, it -- it went...

376
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,240
Oh, hey, hey, hey.

377
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,950
No, Lisa, it's okay.

378
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,369
[ Sobs ]
It's okay. It's a stupid
job anyway, right?

379
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,038
You don't want
that stupid old job.

380
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,664
I got the job.
Oh.

381
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,292
And it's a great job.

382
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:39,337
It's at this really
progressive school.

383
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,214
The kids are terrific.

384
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,174
The benefits are great.

385
00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:46,094
It's by this really cute
little pond!

386
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:49,013
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, no. No.

387
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,599
I'm so sorry.
That sounds...

388
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,683
wonderful.

389
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,228
I know.
It's full-time.

390
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,729
Which means I'd never
get to see Annie.

391
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,065
And 90% of my paycheck
would go to childcare,

392
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,233
so what's the point?
Lisa --

393
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,068
Why is she
so happy with you?

394
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,570
[ Sighs ]
Lisa, listen to me.
Look.

395
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:08,491
I-I am -- I am more than happy
to help out, okay?

396
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,827
In fact,
it's my duty to do so.

397
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,162
Like,
I could go to jail

398
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,413
for not helping out,

399
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,541
so really,
you're doing me a favor.

400
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,917
You are keeping me
out of jail.

401
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,253
[ Chuckles ]
You think the reason

402
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,172
I told you this was
so that you'd give me money?

403
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,049
What? No, no, no.

404
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,342
And you could feel good
about yourself

405
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,052
'cause you found
a way to play hero

406
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,303
without leaving
the comfort

407
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,180
of your Craftsman-style
living room?

408
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,807
Hey!

409
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:35,393
I did not know that's what kind
of house this was, and --

410
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,853
I don't want
your charity money!

411
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,521
No thank you, Signor.

412
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:44,110
[ Door slams shut ]
Oh, God. I really hate it
when she calls me Signor.

413
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,403
I forgot my baby.

414
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,530
I-I don't
usually do that.

415
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,739
Hey, no, no,
that's okay. Here.

416
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,371
So, you and Lisa
didn't mend any fences?

417
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,040
Ooh, I don't think
she wants to mend fences.

418
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,127
I think
she wants to...fence.

419
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,295
Oh.

420
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,338
But on the bright side,
Annie!

421
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,842
Annie.
Oh, my gosh.

422
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,761
She was so amazing.

423
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,638
And I was
so scared at first,

424
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,307
but then it all
came back to me.

425
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,309
I mean, she cried, of course,
and then barfed,

426
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,104
and at one point, she stuck
her entire fist in my eye.

427
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,315
[ Chuckles ]
But I --

428
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,066
I just loved
every minute of it.

429
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,486
Mae wants
to go to Barnard.

430
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,822
Wow. Our little girl
in New York.

431
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,199
Can't believe it.

432
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:33,159
I think
she'd like it there.

433
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:34,619
Yeah,
she probably would.

434
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,748
Hm. Lisa did that, too.

435
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:39,957
Did what?

436
00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:42,376
Said happy words
in a sad way.

437
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,716
Get ready
to be impressed.

438
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,676
Okay.
Getting ready.

439
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,094
Hold on.

440
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,846
All right. I'm ready.
[ Laptop key clicks ]

441
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,514
[ Sarah McLachlan's
"Angel" plays ]

442
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,849
♪ In the arms ♪
Oh, see,
I love this song.

443
00:16:56,849 --> 00:17:00,895
♪ Of the angel ♪
I know. Me too.

444
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:06,776
♪ Fly away from here ♪

445
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:11,697
♪ From this dark,
cold hotel room ♪

446
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,157
That's not true.

447
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,952
♪ And the endlessness
that you fear ♪

448
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,161
"Homless"?

449
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:21,207
[ Laptop shuts ]
Wow. Okay. Huh.

450
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,709
So, it seems like your heart
is in the right place...

451
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,086
kinda.

452
00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,213
But this is a huge
invasion of privacy,

453
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,547
and this is
full of lies.

454
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,007
You cannot post that.

455
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,843
Well, someone has to do
something, okay,

456
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,513
because if Lisa can't
support herself,

457
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,558
then she's gonna move away,
and we're gonna miss everything.

458
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,726
First steps,
first solids,

459
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,728
first "baby goes potty,
like a big girl."

460
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,064
Okay. Mace, go.

461
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,233
Go be a teenager.
Go do a meme.

462
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,401
Go.

463
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,069
Someone has
to take action!

464
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:53,322
[ Sighs ]

465
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,992
God.

466
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,411
I just don't want
my little girl to move away.

467
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,079
Agree!
You're the one who said

468
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,956
that she'd love New York.

469
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,958
Oh, I was --
I was talking about Annie.

470
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,420
Oh.
Yeah.

471
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,756
We're both obsessing
over our daughters,

472
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,425
just different
daughters.

473
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,927
Annie's on her way in,
Mae's on her way out.

474
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,721
My head is racing.

475
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,932
Sounds like Mae's being really
responsible and independent.

476
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,435
Isn't that, like,
the whole point of parenting?

477
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,895
Not for me.
I don't think
you remember

478
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,647
what we were like
at that age.

479
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:30,526
We couldn't wait to get
the hell away from our parents.

480
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,111
Okay.

481
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,946
We'll see how you feel

482
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,448
if your kid's
ever born.

483
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,158
[ Knock on door ]
Um, Mom,

484
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:39,160
do I have
a Social Security number?

485
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,662
Oh, my gosh, yes.
You have a great one.

486
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,539
Here. I'll write it down
for you.

487
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,502
Northwestern?

488
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,338
I know Zach Braff
went there,

489
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,590
but it still has
a lot going for it.

490
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,258
Plus it's in Illinois.

491
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,551
Illinois?

492
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,136
A whole
three states closer.

493
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,472
See? That's what
I'm talking about.

494
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,140
Can you guys
pick it up?

495
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,142
I can't really see it,
and I'm getting kind of bor--

496
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:07,521
♪♪

497
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,982
[ Doorbell rings ]

498
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,192
Who rings
the doorbell?

499
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:12,568
I just
got her to sleep!

500
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:16,113
Annie likes me, Lisa,
even though you don't.

501
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,823
And I don't need to be
a part of your life,

502
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,617
but I do need
to be a part of hers.

503
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,078
And if you don't want
my financial support,

504
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,663
that's fine, okay?

505
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,040
But let me help
in other ways.

506
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,875
And you don't have to move
to be near family,

507
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:30,002
because Annie
has family right here.

508
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,254
She has me and
three half-siblings

509
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,799
who are all
obsessed with her.

510
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,675
Well, Mason is obsessed
with her.

511
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,428
The other two, eh, they don't
really like her that much.

512
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:42,223
But whatever, one out of three
is not so bad, right?

513
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,017
Look.

514
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,478
You can take my help
and still hate me.

515
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,688
I promise you, I will not
interpret it as forgiveness.

516
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,525
I'll think about it.

517
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,736
I'll take it.

518
00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,948
Do not smile back,

519
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,200
because that
I might misinterpret.

520
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,036
♪♪

521
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,704
Good.

522
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,498
Consistent.

523
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,333
Annie will benefit
from that.

524
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,376
We done?

525
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,544
We done.

526
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:19,969
♪♪

527
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,558
Right. This is the place.
Okay!

528
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,976
Uh, we got a nice
pull-out coach here.

529
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,812
Soft stuff.
Yeah. Uh, dining area.

530
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,690
And this is
the kitchenette.

531
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,151
The fridge is mini,
but it does good work.

532
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,862
Hm. She's little,
but brisk.

533
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,322
Would I be able to pay
the security deposit

534
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,407
in installments?

535
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,908
Through PayPal,
perhaps?

536
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,077
Uh, you could Venmo
all the money to Lisa Apple,

537
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,078
the beneficiary.

538
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,746
Crypto okay?
No. Grow up.

539
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,165
Lena: Hey, Mason.

540
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,499
Who's this?

541
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,126
Uh, this is
our new tenant, Dave!

542
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,836
Uh, we met at Quiznos.

543
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,212
We both ordered
the Spicy Monterey

544
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,381
and got to talking.
I volunteer there.

545
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,841
And, um...

546
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:01,510
he needed a new
work/live space, so...

547
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,012
I breed ferrets.

548
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,305
And capybaras.

549
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,182
It's like a South American
horse mouse.

550
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:07,641
I know
what they are.
Okay.

551
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,685
No license. I don't have
a license for it.

552
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:10,978
Hm.

553
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,521
I figured
if we sublet the garage,

554
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,148
we could have
some extra cash for Annie.

555
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,026
Nope. Bye, Dave.

556
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,195
Got to go.
Back to Quiznos. Shoo.

557
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,946
Um...

558
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,616
Gmail me if anything changes.
I won't.

559
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,951
-- Captions by VITAC --